Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Movie Review: Inglorious Basterds

Category: , By The Bearded One

When it comes to Quentin Tarantino, you either really like his movies or you don’t. Actually, I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t like his movies….. Whatever.

This movie was freaking amazing. If you are looking for a gore ridden, World War 2 era comedy, this is the one to see.

Good: Nazis getting their shit ruined. Seriously, this one is full of Nazis being killed and or maimed in some pretty awesome ways. Brad Pitt gave an awesome performance as an American leading a group of disgruntled Jews into Germany with the sole mission of killing “Gnatzis”.
  • Be on the lookout for:
  • Death by baseball bat
  • Scalping
  • Facial mutilation
  • Deception
  • Strudel
  • Gunshots to the crotch
  • Nazis smoking awesome pipes
  • Americans speaking horribly butchered French

Bad: The movie starts out pretty slow and jumps around a bit following several story lines, but it all comes together very well in the end, trust me. Also, some of the movie is in subtitles (for us non-German speaking folk), which is not a problem, unless you’re sitting behind someone with a fat ass head. The subs are at the *very* bottom of the screen. For the love of god Tarantino, move the subtitles higher on the screen!

Verdict: Go see this movie, whether you want to or not, you will enjoy it. Be it for the awesomeness, the comedy or good old fashioned Tarantino gore.

5 out of 5 Rofls
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Movie Review: The Forbidden Kingdom

Category: , By Patrick

Kung Fu lovers rejoice, Jackie Chan and Jet Li have finally been featured in the same movie! Don't worry about sharpening your katanas or equipping your armor, because this movie has enough sugar coating to give a Disney animator a cavity.

The good: Jet Li and Jackie Chan both display their extensive knowledge of the martial arts. Granted, there were plenty of the "Crouching Tiger" gravity defying moves to go around, however, in-between all of the fantasy fighting, some pretty intense fight scenes took place. One of the more notable fights was between Li and Chan. I was a bit disappointed because that fight was never "finished", it just ended abruptly. I'm pretty sure Jackie Chan would have had his ass handed to him in real life though.

The bad: Hollywood had their way with this movie. I seriously don't know what to be more mad at: The fact that two of the greatest martial artists to ever get to the silver screen have to waste their time trying to act when they could have been coordinating complex fight scenes, OR, the kid they hired to play in the movie. He was seriously a pussy. I felt like the kid was so far out of place that it almost ruined every bit of excitement that I had built up for the movie. I'm not going to hate on him too much, but he pretty much ruined the movie. I also was not too fond of the magical elements that were used in the fight scenes. This is supposed to be a KUNG FU MOVIE, not Lord of the F*cking Rings!

Verdict: If you are a fan of Jet Li's mind numbing karate, or Jackie Chan's ability to play the role of a drunken karate master, go watch this movie. Just be sure to practice your own drunken master technique before you go or you just might enrage like I did.

This movie gets 3 out of 5 ROFLs.
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Movie Review: Jumper

Category: , , By Ryan


Overview: Jumper is a movie about a guy (Hayden Christensen) with the power to teleport instantly to any place he has a memory, or picture of. He soon learns how to control this power. He then gives into temptation and uses his new power for personal gain (not to give too much away). It turns out that there are other people with this power, and they are referred to as "Jumpers". These special people have been around since the middle ages. The "Paladins" have been trying to rid the world of the Jumpers. Samuel L. Jackson plays the part of a level 70 paladin, the top dawg.

The Good: I am somewhat impressed with the underlying story. A group a people with the power to teleport, and the villainous Paladins trying to take out all of the Jumpers. I like the idea of the Paladins chasing after these Jumpers as far back as the middle ages. That is moderately interesting. The special effects were not too bad either. The "Jump" scenes, and battles where the ability was used, were quite cool. Griffin, another "Jumper" was played by Jamie Bell. I thought that he did a pretty good job playing his part as the "more experienced badass Jumper". Aside from that... I can't say anything else positive about this movie.

The Bad: The movie was not well casted. I think that Hayden Christensen was simply not the right actor for the part he played. His character starts out as a shy, troubled teenager. He ends up as a cocky, over confident, a-hole; jumping around the world, and sleeping with random women. This would probably be fine if the actor playing the part could pull this off. I don't wish to totally rag on Hayden though... Star Wars: Episode 1-3 were great movies, and he played his part quite well. That was because the movie was well casted. On top of all that, I think that Samuel L. Jackson just wasn't into his role or something. He didn't yell enough... more than likely because there were no mother f*$%ing snakes on any mother f*$%ing planes this time around.

Verdict: Bad casting can kill a movie. "Jumper" is a perfect example. The actors casted are not bad actors, they just did not fit the parts the played. The story was not too bad, it had a good foundation for a decent action movie. They chose to build onto that foundation in the wrong way, and the end product is not up to code.

I give this movie 2 out of 5 rofls
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